Know about your partner’s values
Know what your possible match is looking for in a partner. What are your priorities? What are the things that are most important to you? Are your values in sync? These are the types of topics you should be talking about during your dating time. Do you wish to start a family? If so, how many are there?
What religious beliefs do you have? Are you two spiritually compatible? This is an important topic to discuss since you may not have much religious conflict when dating or even in the early stages of your marriage; but, after children are born, there is more conflict because each parent wants their children to be brought up in their belief system.
Due to social pressure and non-Christian influences, sexual virginity before marriage is no longer prioritized. Before you marry, you must be sexually pure. This is the cornerstone of your marriage’s trust. Many guys will chase their girlfriends and then refuse to appreciate them or accuse them of infidelity once they marry.
It may not make sense, but it is how it is. We’ve coached a lot of couples who have trouble trusting one other because of their own sexual impurity previous to marriage. Because your sexual conduct is more than not having sexual intercourse, I use the term “purity” instead of “virginity.”
Purity encompasses all aspects of our lives, not simply “doing IT.” Oral intercourse and comparable practices, for example, are considered unclean amongst unmarried individuals. Marriage is God’s purpose for sexual pleasure and expression.
You don’t have the right to have sexual intercourse or “shack up” with your partner just because you’re engaged. In marriage, the bed is undefiled, yet whoremongers will be judged by God.
Accepting your future partner is something you should think about early in your relationship. Accepting oneself is the first step toward acceptance. There are certain areas you excel at and others where you need to improve; this is what defines who you are.
Acceptance fosters an atmosphere in which people are free to be themselves and are unconditionally appreciated. God’s love for us. If a person has never been accepted before and has poor self-esteem, it may be difficult for them to understand that someone actually loves and accepts them. Premarital therapy can help in this situation.
We don’t stand over the sprout shouting as we put seeds “Get moving and grow! Slowpoke, you’re not developing fast enough!” We, like plants, require caring, care, and love as we mature; similarly, plants require sunlight, rain, and cultivation. You will be better capable of getting to know your life mate to the extent that you know yourself. Never attempt to alter someone else.
Relax and enjoy
Take some time to relax and enjoy yourself. Being happily married requires effort, but you must also make time to enjoy each other’s company. It takes effort to learn to live with a new person in a mutually pleasant relationship.
It’s important to learn to communicate so that you can understand each other, attend marriage seminars, and figure out what works best for you. It’s also important to have fun! Don’t forget about the good moments you had while you were single. Make new memories with your friends! Is it critical to have pleasure in being in each other’s company and to provide and receive extra personal attention?
Ask questions about kids
Pose the following questions to yourself: Am I sensitive to the children’s emotions? Is it possible for me to pay attention to the children? Is my flexibility sufficient to withstand the choppy waters that may arise during the transition period?
Am I willing to learn new things through seminars, therapy, and literature that will help me understand how to fit in with this family? Be truthful and forthright. To the men: Are you willing to put your manhood on hold and put up with the children’s flaws while they adjust? Do you have faith in your partner’s capacity to raise their children?
Show your devotion
As a couple, begin a devotional or quiet time to come before God. Set aside time to converse with the Lord on your own. The benefit of each is that if you start sharing a spiritual life with each other, you’ll get off to a good start with the Lord.
God, you, and your spouse are the three parties in a Christian marriage. When things are tough, seeking spiritual guidance and insight will be a huge help. And two, you need your own devotion time because, even if you’re married, your partner won’t be able to satisfy all of your requirements; only God can.
Ask and answer
Important questions should be asked and answered. While you’re dating, hopefully, you’re making use of the opportunity to get to know one another. Asking these essential questions is a good place to start. What type of family structure did you have growing up? There are two types of parents: single parents and two-parent families.
What do you expect marriage to be like as a result of your family of origin? What early decisions did you make as a result of your upbringing? Complete the following sentence: “I’ll never… when I get married and have kids…” Describe your connection with the parent of the opposite sex, such as a boy with his mother or a daughter with her father.
The way we interact with our mates is often influenced by our connection with the opposing sex’s parent. If a man disrespects his mother, he will have the same attitude toward his wife.
Before the wedding, medical testing for HIV, Hepatitis C, Hepatitis B, and blood type compatibility are recommended.
Never give up
Although no one is flawless, you deserve the finest potential match that God has in store for you. Some individuals accept a marriage proposal because they feel no one else will because they have children and no one wants them, because “I’m no great catch, I can’t be picky,” or because “I don’t love them but this person is steady and can provide for me.”
None of these are justifications for saying “I do.” God created marriage to be a beautiful union of two people who are devoted to Him, full of the king of love that He gives us, a place to develop, and an incubator for our children.
The ultimate objective is for everyone to feel the love on this planet and for a family reunion to take place in paradise. Invoke God’s help in finding the right match for you. Don’t settle; wait on the Lord.
Take precautions about violence
Be on the lookout for any symptoms of abuse. Does your spouse use verbal shaming, name-calling, and profanity to get you to change your mind? Do you ever feel frightened or threatened with bodily harm? Have you ever been slapped, pushed, “wrestled,” shoved, or smacked for no apparent reason? None of the actions listed above are appropriate. You are not deserve of being struck. It’s also not your fault if you’re being abused.
Is your boyfriend attempting to isolate you from your family and friends? Terminate the connection or inform them that you will not continue until they get PROFESSIONAL ASSISTANCE. Don’t kid yourself: whatever unpleasant conduct that exists prior to marriage will be amplified later. Every day, a large number of individuals are killed by violence perpetrated by someone they know. Please pay attention to this!
Give priority to the kids
Involved children should be asked about their feelings. If you’re having bad sentiments, look into why you’re feeling that way. I highly advise everyone involved to seek counseling, since you will all be involved after the wedding. What strategy have you devised to improve communication? Include all children in pre-marital conversations and therapy if both partners have children. “Before You Remarry” is a recommended book.
Talk about all of your previous major love relationships. It is vital to communicate honestly about former relationships since being open about something so intimate leads to a deeper level of connection. Each of you has the right to full disclosure.
There should be no shocks once you’ve tied the knot. If you or your partner proposes putting the past in the past and not exposing this aspect of your life, I promise that someone from your past will appear when you least expect it one day. This can stoke anxieties and produce more suffering than is required.
If you don’t feel comfortable entrusting your entire self to your potential partner, you may not be ready to take such a significant step as marriage. This is a test of vulnerability and honesty. I hope this article on things couples should do before getting married will be helpful.
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